re: Writing Projects II
Dear Mr. Box,
Nobody appreciates your past writing contributions to the Windows developer community more than I. As a testimony, there is a still copy of Essential COM I keep next to my bed. This battle-worn tome contains page after page stained from tears of joy that rolled off my cheeks as I experienced moments of clarity when I read and reread about class factories, apartments and the free-threaded marshaller.
However, times have changed. I must express my opinion that writing additional volumes is a medium that no longer becomes you. I say this because the paragraphs you write this summer will not be available to me (the consumer) until sometime in 2007. I can't wait that long.
Your blog gives me a much greater sense of spontaneous gratification. You write about what's on your mind and your thoughts are available to me (the consumer) within minutes. This timeliness leads to a much greater sense of satisfaction in an on-demand world.
However, even your blog leaves me somewhat wanting. I sit around wondering what you are wearing. I wonder what you ate for lunch. I wonder what sort of off-the-cuff comments you made when someone presented a theory that you found implausible or not cohesive. These frustration leads me to suggest you channel your energies using a more effective and a more modern media: reality TV.
Look at the reality TV shows that are out there today. You have guys like Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Mark Cuban and maybe soon Martha Stewart. The only trait that these people share is that they are all rich pompous jackasses. Reality TV could be so much better than it is today. Reality TV needs a personality that is truly charismatic and clairvoyant. That's where you fit in. Here's the pitch I would make to the network executives.
The Visionary: It takes a village to be Don Box Airing Tuesday and Thursday at 8PM on Fox Networks
I envision cameras following you around 24x7. In the morning we would see you as Barb helps you get dressed and packs your lunch in a little brown bag to go to work. We could see you coding and white-boarding in the office as you direct the future of Microsoft's SOA initiatives. We could see your personal interactions with ChrisAn and we would witness how your relationship with him blossoms in the years to come. We could also see how you effectively work your Outlook and voicemail inboxes in the fashion that has led you to become a communications role model for other Microsoft employees.
I have one more idea for you if you move forward with your own reality TV show. You should never introduce Gudge to the audience or mention his name in any way. I assume that Gudge will be in each and every scene in each and every episode. Your audience will quickly begin to wonder who this little English chap is. You could effectively boost rating by shrouding Gudge in mystery and building a magnetic sense of intrigue around him much like Hunter Thompson did with his lawyer in books such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. For sweeps week, have Gudge do an encore wearing his old rabbit suit while presenting Mr. Bunny's Guide to Service Oriented Architecture.
I suspect within a year your show could really raise the bar in the reality TV industry and force Donald Trump and those like him into the ranks of washed-up, TV has-beens like Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaducci and Soupy Sales. Please tell me if you would like me to connect you with any industry folks while I am still living in LA.
Regards,
Ted Pattison
Chief Interrogating Officer
Barracuda .NET